Surly Santa Guy

Guyography

MOTTO: "Ho, Ho, Ho...whatever."

TURN ONS: standing over people's beds while they sleep, eggnog (if there's enough Rum in it)

TURN OFFS: tape, cookies and milk

IF I COULD BE ANY ANIMAL, I WOULD BE...
anything but a reindeer -- and I mean that, really, those things stink to high heaven.

While we were sitting in a bar in Fairbanks, Alaska, who should walk in but the always lovable Kris Kringle. Unknown out of costume to most of the populace, Kris tends to be a bit more cranky after the holidays. The truth is, he really doesn't have a lot to do. Sure, he works his ass off on December 24th, but the rest of the year he gets extremely bored. The North Pole is such a well-oiled machine at this point, he can pretty much leave things unattended. After talking to him for awhile and buying him a few shots, we persuaded him to spend some of his off time with us at Guycon.