Space Alien Guy

Guyography

MOTTO: "Earth. Love it or leave it!"

TURN ONS: fast food, outlet shopping

TURN OFFS: self serve space stations, cable TV

IF I COULD BE ANY ANIMAL, I WOULD BE...
an Astropodalopolous

I think we have all had an alien abduction experience at this point, haven’t we? Ours occurred while driving across the Great Plains. We were coming from a private airstrip where we had just picked up a very important and very, shall we say, secret package necessary to the completion of this undertaking. Suddenly, the incredibly bright lights of a spacecraft engulfed our rented Town Car. The next thing we knew, our brains were being scanned by an alien intelligence. At length, we made a deal with the alien overlord: we would make him a partner in our business endeavor in exchange for his not probing us in the more inconspicuous areas of our bodies. He agreed, for a very large percentage. It just goes to show, even aliens have their price.