Pirate Guy

Guyography

MOTTO: "Looting and pillaging is fine, but without love what do you really have?"

TURN ONS: bus tours, hairy women

TURN OFFS: nicknames, seafood

IF I COULD BE ANY ANIMAL, I WOULD BE...
the Great White Whale

While sailing the South Seas on our 130' yacht, "The Lady Guycon," we were boarded late one night by a group of modern day, bloodthirsty buccaneers. After being brought before the Captain, we were told we would be beaten and/or tickled about the head and neck until we complied with his demands. We immediately caved and proceeded to hand over the twenty million in gold nuggets we habitually keep on board. It was then that the Captain grew furious and demanded to know where we hid our onboard computers. It was the software he was after. We negotiated, and when he realized that he could be a part of Guycon and thereby swashbuckle his way into millions of computers, he became quite amiable.